That’s Entertainment!
So, it finally happened. Vince got his wish and has removed “wrestling” from the World WrestlingFederation Entertainment. We all knew it was coming! Right? I mean, we’ve been joking about this happening for years and assuming that this has been the goal since about 1982. So no one should be shocked. Appalled maybe. But shocked? No. There is no shock in hearing the news that the word “wrestling “has been removed from the biggest wrestling company in the known universe.
The end is nigh.
Well... maybe not....
When one looks a little more deeper at the news, it starts to lose some of its sting. First off, when WAS the last time you heard the word “wrestling” on a WWE broadcast? When Joey Styles worked shot himself off the air? When Brett and Shawn went 60 minutes at WrestleMania XII? Maybe. It might even be longer than that. Perhaps it was Gorilla Monsoon calling a Greg Valentine-Ron Garvin match or Bob Backlund turning back a Nick Bockwinkel title challenge? Point being: The WWF/E hasn’t been a “wrestling-based” company in a long, long time.
So, it finally happened. Vince got his wish and has removed “wrestling” from the World Wrestling
The end is nigh.
Well... maybe not....
When one looks a little more deeper at the news, it starts to lose some of its sting. First off, when WAS the last time you heard the word “wrestling” on a WWE broadcast? When Joey Styles worked shot himself off the air? When Brett and Shawn went 60 minutes at WrestleMania XII? Maybe. It might even be longer than that. Perhaps it was Gorilla Monsoon calling a Greg Valentine-Ron Garvin match or Bob Backlund turning back a Nick Bockwinkel title challenge? Point being: The WWF/E hasn’t been a “wrestling-based” company in a long, long time.
Second, have you ever been to a Raw or Smackdown TV taping? That’s a television program. Plain and simple. Yeah, there is a ring, a referee, (some)talented wrestlers in a “match,” but those cameras are not recording a wrestling event like some camcorder propped up on a tri-pod at an Indy show. (Even a large scale one.) Those cameras are, in fact, broadcasting a weekly, episodic television show complete with performers playing characters and moving along storylines through short vignettes or action that takes place in a ring. And it’s done with such impressive, precision that it needs to be appreciated from time to time.
Team Vince is a brand. It is Kleenex to everyone else’s tissue. They are the only American promotion to fully make money on the product they are most associated with... which to the mainstream folks is still: wrestling. Think about it. TNA is funded by a power company. At its peak, WCW was a sub-division of another large corporation. ECW couldn’t survive on just wrestling alone. Even Ring of Honor, every one's favorite lil’ engine that could, was getting help from HD Net and probably funding from business sources not having to do with tights and bodyslams. There is no such thing as “the wrestling business.” It doesn’t exist. Vince knew this. He had to. And he was smart enough, brave enough, ruthless enough, and, yeah, lucky enough to be able to take his product outside of the structure it was built on. We all know the good, bad, and genius ways he did this. Hate him. Love him. Doesn’t matter: he did it.
You hear and read this comment a lot: Vince can try and try, but he’ll always be associated with wrestling.
True. But, the biting undertones that often accompany that line of thinking is overlooking one thing. Despite every failed bodybuilding promotion, football league, movie venture, or political bid he is still here and still in the position to take more risks. Something will hit. One day.
So, WWE can help produce your live event. Awesome. I wish the Academy Awards ran with the precision of even a NXT webcast.
So, WWE will produce some more movies. Perfect. While not great, I’ll still rather watch Triple H chaperone kids on a field trip than a puzzling remake of Arthur or Seth Rogen as a superhero.
So, WWE will have it’s own cable channel with new original programming, possibly even not related to wrestling. Great. My TV remote occasionally gets stuck on a channel devoted entirely to weather. Weather has its own channel. WWE broadcasting should too.
So, a moonsault will never be referred to as a “wrestling” move on WWE TV. Cool. We know what it really is, know what skill it takes to do it right, and it will remain as stunning as a move (when done right) as it was the first time you saw one years ago. Vince can’t change that. Ever.
This is not to say that all this is perfect for the “business.” I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t respect a good ole’ fashioned rasslin’ match or the technical skills of Davey Richards, Bryan Danielson, or The Miz. (Kidding!!!) This doesn’t mean you should stop enjoying Jim Cornette shoot videos. All this is to say that this is probably not going to affect your Monday night wrestling viewing experience as much as you want to believe it will.
But, while we’re on the subject...If the WWE is going to start branching out, I think there are a few products, shows, and happenings that we all will be looking for.
1.) The Viper starring Randy Orton- Tune in every Thursday at 8 PM as crime fighting gets a new hero. When a secret government project goes awry, a mild mannered Army soldier becomes a half-man, half-serpent crime fighter. Striking from his secret basement dwelling in the heart of Titan City, Randy Viper is turning his curse into a blessing as he saves the city from a crime wave being perpetuated by evil genius Mr. Straight Edge. CM Punk and Brie Bella co-star.
2.) Jr’s Celebrity Cookout- Broadcasting live from downtown Norman, Oklahoma, here comes the newest cooking superstar Ole’ JR! Each week he’ll teach you different ways to cook the same two meals: Steak or Chicken. He’ll be joined by celebrity guests like Jerry Lawler, TV’s “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, and Jerry Lawler. It’s going to be a slobberknocker of a good... taste!
3.) Team Bring It Live Inspirational Events- Are you lost? In need of inspiration? Tired of reading self-help books that lead you nowhere or paying big money to have a weird, hippy European dude stare at you with his “love energy.” Then pack up the babies and grab the old ladies because it’s time to come to a Team Bring It Live Inspirational Event! Led by former Sports Entertainer Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson*, the Team Bring It message will be shoved down your throats for two straight hours. Do you want to succeed in life? Struggling to put food on the table or pay your cable bill? Do you have childhood dreams that real life or your kids have buried? Yes?!?! Then all you have to do is Bring. It. And everything else will fall into place! And don’t forget to buy your Team Bring It merchandise.
* Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to appear as his schedule permits. If he is not available a replacement deemed worthy by WWE, Inc will be scheduled and will not violate the terms of the $200 per person ticket. Potential replacements include Simon Dean, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, or any one claiming to be related to the Maivia family.
4.) Keeping up with The Miz- It takes a lot of hard work to remain Awesome 24/7! Join us each week as we “keep up” with entertainment champion The Miz and his entourage that includes Alex “Drinky” Riley, Maryse “Stand silently at the Valet parking stand” Ouellet, and Fit Finlay in this new reality program. Being Miz is as Awesome as it sounds.
5.) Late Night with Zack Ryder- Coming to you each week from inside a Holiday Inn Express suite, comes the newest star of late night comedy: The Long Island Iced Zee, Zack Ryder. Funny commentary, celebrity interviews, and quick cutaways to your favorite WWE merchandise from the past will have you taking a second look at this former low-card Superstar. Scott Stanford appears as his sidekick and Zack’s John Morrison obsessed Father will be seen as well.
Actually... that last one doesn’t seem that bad.
Rankings (That don’t really matter)
1.) Edge, Rated R Vampire- You thought you knew him, but now you’ll never know for sure. One of the mainstays of the last decade plus has pulled up the stakes and made way for the North Carolina countryside. The thing you have to admire most about Edge is that he was a fan that not only got to live the dream, he exceeded it.
2.) Whom ever came up with the Awesome Kong teaser video- That is exactly what we all were hoping for. The name might change, but it appears (at least for now) that the monster heel we all want to destroy Divaville will soon be here.
3.) Christian, Brood Brother- Like a loyal soldier picking up the flag from the felled flag bearer, Christian now steps into the World title picture. Now even the most ardent Del Rio supporters are thinking, “Weeeelllll, maybe ADR could wait just a little longer...”
4.) Christopher Daniels, He got your back- Though his recent work in ROH has been a satisfying taste treat for fans of the Fallen Angel, it is good to see him back in TNA (as himself and not a secret character on a video game). When a veteran worker with a great reputation can get national screen time in a major feud it is cause to celebrate.
5.) A.P.P.L.E., WWE’s hottest new faction- Laugh if you will, but no one has talked this much about Mark Henry since he had trouble getting into a steel cage.
The “why you should really love Indy Wrestling” award of the week:
Asking your boss for a day off of work to defend your world title.
In what other business does the top draw have to ask for permission from The Man to go defend his hard-earned “word” title? It’s the simple beauty of independent wrestling. One night you’re leaping off the top to secure a pinfall victory and the next day you’re restocking the shelves, unloading stock, or balancing ledgers. It’s all part of the great tapestry of professional wrestling.
The “Unsolicited TNA advice” of the week:
Take the Tag Belts of off Beer Money.
Now, keep in mind, Beer Money is the top team and it makes sense to have them with the belts. However, they are locked in this Fortune vs Immortal feud. That’s about more than the titles. The titles do nothing to advance or add to it. TNA needs to highlight what they do have and, while not quite Ring of Honor’s tag division, they do have a good roster of good, old fashioned tag team talent. Focus on it. But the belts into that simmering crockpot of action and really gives the fans something they aren’t getting in the WWE.
A New Place in History... for Bill DeMott. The guy is a scene stealer on Tough Enough, which has already proven to be an entertaining showcase for Steve Austin. The first two episodes are very good, but still come off as more of a collection of highlights and clips when it comes to the actual training of these future superstars and divas. DeMott’s growling presence, intensity, and comedic roughness brings a needed credible edge to the show. DeMott should no longer just be looked at as the guy who portrayed General Hugh G. Rection.
Fast Count...
The way I see it... John Cena proclaiming that he will walk into WrestleMania 28 as the WWE champion not only provides a good story structure for the next year; it also guarantees that The Miz’s spot as the champion will probably be secure for a lot longer than most of you want. (Bbbbbbbwwaaahahahahahaha!)
I would totally love it if... Wade Barrett separated himself from The Corre and got on with becoming a top heel. I still believe he can do it, but the more time spent laboring with the gang of ineffectual street toughs is only going to dampen his climb.
I gotta think... that the Sin Cara trampoline has got to go. Good idea in principle, but you just know that one day this is going to end with Sin Cara going straight into the top rope in a SIG alert worthy car crash of a botch. Hmmm... second though... that might be too funny to miss. Keep it.
I must confess... the whole Winter/ Angelina Love/ Velvet Sky triangle is starting to make me lose interest in one of the only reasons I routinely tune into TNA Impact! Bring it to a conclusion and start releasing the pigeons again. (All royalties paid to Tazz as required.)1.) Edge, Rated R Vampire- You thought you knew him, but now you’ll never know for sure. One of the mainstays of the last decade plus has pulled up the stakes and made way for the North Carolina countryside. The thing you have to admire most about Edge is that he was a fan that not only got to live the dream, he exceeded it.
2.) Whom ever came up with the Awesome Kong teaser video- That is exactly what we all were hoping for. The name might change, but it appears (at least for now) that the monster heel we all want to destroy Divaville will soon be here.
3.) Christian, Brood Brother- Like a loyal soldier picking up the flag from the felled flag bearer, Christian now steps into the World title picture. Now even the most ardent Del Rio supporters are thinking, “Weeeelllll, maybe ADR could wait just a little longer...”
4.) Christopher Daniels, He got your back- Though his recent work in ROH has been a satisfying taste treat for fans of the Fallen Angel, it is good to see him back in TNA (as himself and not a secret character on a video game). When a veteran worker with a great reputation can get national screen time in a major feud it is cause to celebrate.
5.) A.P.P.L.E., WWE’s hottest new faction- Laugh if you will, but no one has talked this much about Mark Henry since he had trouble getting into a steel cage.
The “why you should really love Indy Wrestling” award of the week:
Asking your boss for a day off of work to defend your world title.
In what other business does the top draw have to ask for permission from The Man to go defend his hard-earned “word” title? It’s the simple beauty of independent wrestling. One night you’re leaping off the top to secure a pinfall victory and the next day you’re restocking the shelves, unloading stock, or balancing ledgers. It’s all part of the great tapestry of professional wrestling.
The “Unsolicited TNA advice” of the week:
Take the Tag Belts of off Beer Money.
Now, keep in mind, Beer Money is the top team and it makes sense to have them with the belts. However, they are locked in this Fortune vs Immortal feud. That’s about more than the titles. The titles do nothing to advance or add to it. TNA needs to highlight what they do have and, while not quite Ring of Honor’s tag division, they do have a good roster of good, old fashioned tag team talent. Focus on it. But the belts into that simmering crockpot of action and really gives the fans something they aren’t getting in the WWE.
A New Place in History... for Bill DeMott. The guy is a scene stealer on Tough Enough, which has already proven to be an entertaining showcase for Steve Austin. The first two episodes are very good, but still come off as more of a collection of highlights and clips when it comes to the actual training of these future superstars and divas. DeMott’s growling presence, intensity, and comedic roughness brings a needed credible edge to the show. DeMott should no longer just be looked at as the guy who portrayed General Hugh G. Rection.
Fast Count...
The way I see it... John Cena proclaiming that he will walk into WrestleMania 28 as the WWE champion not only provides a good story structure for the next year; it also guarantees that The Miz’s spot as the champion will probably be secure for a lot longer than most of you want. (Bbbbbbbwwaaahahahahahaha!)
I would totally love it if... Wade Barrett separated himself from The Corre and got on with becoming a top heel. I still believe he can do it, but the more time spent laboring with the gang of ineffectual street toughs is only going to dampen his climb.
I gotta think... that the Sin Cara trampoline has got to go. Good idea in principle, but you just know that one day this is going to end with Sin Cara going straight into the top rope in a SIG alert worthy car crash of a botch. Hmmm... second though... that might be too funny to miss. Keep it.
Come on, admit it... knowing that the Bellas are going to be featured on TV for at least a little while longer is not a bad thing.
Seriously... TNA? You have a faction called Immortal that is, outside of legends like Flair and Hogan, currently comprised of Matt Hardy, Bully Ray, Gunner, Murphy, Rob Terry, and Abyss. That’s Immortal? Write that down on paper, read it aloud, and try again.
Sure... I want the NFL season to happen, but what wrestling mark worth his weight in Legion of Doom/ Road Warrior merchandise wouldn’t want to see James “Son of Animal” Laurinaitis roaming the rings of the WWE? Count me in. Even if they call him Bobby McNotRelated. Just bring out the shoulder pads.
Quick... tell me why Mr Fuji would even think Yokozuna could defeat Hulk Hogan just moments after he took Bret Hart to the limit? Stupid, stupid, stupid. No wonder the Powers of Pain dumped you.
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